Of course, you and I know that's as true as looking into the glare coming off your computer, eyeing your shadowy visage and saying: I actually do look a bit like Ryan Gosling, or Angelina Jolie.
In the afterglow of the AFL draft, you see what you want to see.
MORE: Who did your club select at 2013 AFL draft? | AFL draft 2013: Notes from the Gold Coast
Right now, all 18 clubs are dating a supermodel. But unfortunately, when the lights go down, the lumber goes up, and the Barry White starts playing, more than one of our stunners will have a headache. And more than one club will be left with one too.
So before optimism drifts into delusion, and delusion gives way to a future trivia question about massive AFL draft stuff-ups, let's ask a few now.
How the hell do rival clubs match up on the Giants' Tom Boyd, Jeremy Cameron, Jon Patton and Cameron McCarthy in the same forward line without a chainsaw and a ladder?
MORE: Tom Boyd joins GWS Giants with pick one at 2013 AFL draft | AFL draft 2013: Every pick, every club, every player
Will Hawthorn's troubled West Australian forward Dayle Garlett be running amok alongside Cyril Rioli at the MCG? Or alongside you at the pub at 4am?
Are the Kolodjashnijs in any way related to Kim, Kourtney and Khloe?
Does Sydney's Aliir Aliir look as good in his Speedos as Majak Daw?
And Essendon fans, Orazio Fantasia is not the name of a suspect amino acid combination nor the contents of a Windy Hill fridge. He's a small forward from South Australia, who may be the best-named player ever in AFL history. He'll supplement your list beautifully.
The AFL draft can only be accurately measured in footy's rear-view mirror. The country's best 18-year-olds may not be the AFL's best 23-year-olds in five years' time. Or the 250-gamers we might imagine in a decade.
And that's what makes the day after AFL draft day so beautiful. We can smell the roses, and ignore the pricks.
There's plenty of time to find out that your first-round pick can't kick.
Or your second-round selection needed a correction.
Or the raw-boned project player your club says needs time to develop is actually made of Meccano and breaks just as easily when hit at speed.
Or when the AFL draft notes say your new draftee can kick on both sides of his body, they left out the words 'equally badly' afterwards.
Right now, these are the players that will win your club a flag. Even you, St Kilda and the Western Bulldogs.
Yes, the day after AFL draft day. Let's enjoy the euphoria while we can. Because reality will be joining us in mid-March. It may not necessarily tally with your club's glowing post-draft assessment.
Youth is wasted on the young, and often, the AFL recruiter.
Let's hope yours has correctly tapped the fountain of youth for your club to drink, not the nightclub piss-trough.