Adam Lucius and Steve Orme
The Wallabies again crashed and burned at the hands of the All Blacks last weekend to make it 11 losses from their last 13 Bledisloe Cup matches.
With the World Cup just around the corner, it appears the New Zealanders only have to turn up to claim the piece of silverware that has taunted them for two decades.
Sportal's Adam Lucius is sick of the excuses from the Australia camp but colleague Steve Orme is not yet ready to give up on the Wallabies.
Lucius: It's time you ripped those leather patches from your elbows and placed them on your knees because you need to start praying for your beloved Wallabies . I am sick of hearing about potential. They would be flat out beating a Shute Shield side.
Orme: It was all part of Dingo Deans' master plan. By deliberately losing on the weekend the All Blacks once again think they are bullet proof. Having seemingly dismantled the No.2-ranked Wallabies there will now be even more pressure on the Kiwis when they square off against the real Wallabies side in the World Cup final on October 23.
Lucius: I thought this was the 'real' Wallabies side? Weren't the Gen Y-ers supposed to take our rugby to a new level and have the All Blacks pooping themselves? Look, I love the idea of New Zealand choking as much as you do but it won't be at the hands of our clueless mob. The Kiwis haven't laughed this hard since they dumped Dave Dobbyn on us.
Orme: It was an embarrassing performance from a team that obviously started to believe the hype. But consider this: the Wallabies couldn't play worse, the All Blacks were at their best on a ground they haven't lost at for 17 years, O'Connor missed three penalties and the margin was only 16 points.
Lucius: More excuses and smothers. That's all I've heard for the past five years. Tell me any other code in which a coach with Robbie Deans' win-loss record would survive? Surely your mate Dingo will disappear with his tail between his legs once the Wallabies exit in the WC quarters or semis? He promised plenty but has delivered little. Fancy letting little Samoa trample all over us. Now, that is embarrassing.
Orme: Congratulations, you are officially the first person to work the words 'little' and 'Samoans' into the same sentence. That was a debacle but more of an indictment on Matt Giteau and some of the other third stringers. Dingo is here to stay until the end of 2013 - and he deserves to. He inherited a basket case and has built this side from scratch. They are racing the clock and there's a danger they'll peak six months after the World Cup, but it's not his fault most of the blokes in the '07 side were crap. Consistency is an issue, but they are the only team to beat the AB's in their past 23 Tests.
Lucius: Oh yes. I remember that victory in the rugby stronghold of Hong Kong. Last second with a conversion from the sideline, wasn't it? We were told that was the day Australian rugby came of age and said 'no more being pushed around'. They celebrated like teenagers let loose on the first day of Schoolies. The All Blacks couldn't believe the carry on and didn't they make them pay on Saturday night. The Wallabies are the most pampered sporting team in Australia. Too many tatts, hair gel and tweeting for mine. Let's get some real men in there who won't soil their pants at the sight of a black jumper. What's Willie O up to these days?
Orme: That's the point - the bloke that kicked 'that goal' (James O'Connor) was practically a teenager at the time - and some of the others had their first shave after the game to celebrate. And just because Quade Cooper and Digby Ioane swap stories about which blackhead removal kit is most effective on Twitter, that doesn't make them any less manly. Willie O and Poido used to file each other's nails all the time - they were just better at hiding it. For the record, the 'real men' that you yearn for are still around - Tatafu Polota-Nau, Cliffy Palu and Benn Robinson (who squatted 130kgs eight times the other day without an ACL) - but they are all injured.
Lucius: Good players those three blokes and at least they don't die wondering. Pity there aren't 12 more of them. Anyway, I've have had my say so I will let you get back to your gin and tonic while I write about a real sport, rugby league. You know the code where teams aim up week in, week out? Well, if you leave out Canberra, Gold Coast, Parramatta, Cronulla, Penrith, the Roosters...
Orme: Yes, time to retreat to your mungo tribe. And when you lot finally finish mad Monday sometime around the middle of October, it might be worth tuning in to Channel Nine to get your 'slice of heaven'. Gus Gould and Rabs won't be there, but you just might be surprised by the outcome on October 23.