Todd Carney's dentist
'Gargle and spit' takes on new meaning when you're dealing with Todd.
We're betting his yellow teeth aren't the result of tartar build-up.
Goal umpire in the AFL
The AFL's department of knee-jerk reactions has made a real mess of the goal umpire's job in recent years.
Imagine showing up to work and having smartarse kids squawk abuse and piff apple cores and half-eaten pies etc at the back of your head all day.
And gone are the days when goal umpires were clad in good old-fashioned white coats and a top hat - now it's poxy flouro uniforms all the way.
If that wasn't bad enough, nobody trusts your decisions anymore.
You're basically standing there for no good reason while a crappy video review system makes more mistakes in one match than you would all season.
Australian cricket selector
Good old John Inverarity and co were coping it from every direction before the start of the Ashes last summer.
How could they have picked Mitchell Johnson?? The bloke gets carted the Barmy Army laughs at him!! The Poms will definitely keep the urn....
And Steve Smith.... the only centuries he will make will be with the ball!!!
Fast forward to the current ODI tournament.... According to Michael Clarke, it was the selectors' fault the Aussies lost to the biggest basket case in world cricket.
The only job in cricket worse than being an Aussie selector?
An England selector.
James O’Connor’s Manscaper
After living in France we’ve noticed that James O’Connor’s facial hair is much more carefully nurtured than it ever was when he was doing Hungry Jacks runs late at night. We suspect the top isn’t the only spot that’s been man-scaped
Security guard at A-League games
If the flares don’t get you then the blokes from the North Terrace at Melbourne Victory games will!
Accountant at Melbourne Storm
This has been a vacant position since 2011 but before that, imagine having to spend your days working out if this was a normal payment or a ‘secret’ payment. It would almost be enough to overheat some overworked Microsoft Excel spreadsheets.
Ben Cousins’ tattooist
We all know it’s only a matter of time before Benny does something silly again without his shirt on. And, when he does, you’d want to make sure any new tats look just as iconic as the Such Is Life one he currently has on his abs!
Joel Monaghan’s Dog Walker
There’s one requirement for this job and that’s that you make sure the pooch wears a muzzle at all times, something especially important given where its mouth’s been.
The worst jobs in Australian sport
