MORE: The Lurker - NRL Rumour File - Monday
Balls in short supply at the ARU
Ewen McKenzie must be punted as Wallabies coach and Bill Pulver should follow if the Australian Rugby Union has any balls.
Their handling of the Kurtley Beale-Di Patston fiasco has been an utter circus and an embarrassment from start to finish.
The arse covering and cover ups have been astonishing and McKenzie and Pulver should be thankful they are not involved in the NRL where the spotlight glare would be 10 times as intense.
And spare a thought for pool old Michael Hooper, who at 22 must somehow deal with all this crap while trying to get his team up for a game against the world champion All Blacks.
Surely a heavy defeat on Saturday, which seems inevitable, will see heads roll.
Beale's NRL menu
Kurtley Beale on the way out from union. Photo (Getty)
So if Kurtley Beale did spill onto the open market, which NRL club would be best placed to poach him?
Here's our shortlist:
Brisbane: No need for him
Canberra: Right in the running but tend to miss out on big names
Canterbury: Well placed. Des a big fan
Cronulla: Got the cash but do they need more drama?
Gold Coast: Couldn't afford him
Manly: Only if they released a number of players
Melbourne: Maybe. KB has lived there before although it didn't end well
Newcastle: No
North Queensland: Somewhere between Buckley's and no chance
Parramatta: Not enough of the folding stuff
Penrith: Very unlikely
St George Illawarra: No. Too much cap pressure already
South Sydney: Hey, they're the premiers. Not interested
Sydney Roosters: Don't rule them out. Have a way of squeezing quality players in under the cap although their priority is Blake Ferguson
Warriors: No bro
Wests Tigers: Can't afford him
Grounds for complaint
Some Wanderers' fans may miss out on the ACL final. Photo by Matt Roberts/Getty Images
Western Sydney Wanderers have put money before fans in opting not to shift the first leg of their ACL final from Pirtek Stadium to Allianz.
The Wanderers stand to collect $5m if they beat Saudi Arabian club Al Hilal and qualify for the rich world club championship.
They believe they have a better chance of achieving that by playing the home leg at Parramatta on October 25, but it means around 20,000 fans will be denied the chance to watch.
Pirtek's capacity sits at just over 21,000 while Allianz holds 45,000.
"We were prepared to host the game and believe it would have been close to a sell-out at Allianz," SGG Trust communications director Phillip Heads told The Repeat Set.
"Wanderers fans have travelled to Moore Park in big numbers before and I'm sure they would have again."
A crowd of 30-40,000 noisy Wanderers supporters would have created an extremely hostile and intimidating atmosphere at Allianz, not that it will be overly quiet at Pirtek.
ANZ Stadium was never an option as the ground is to be re-turfed after hosting next month's Monster Truck Jam
Arnie sticks boot in
Breathing fire already... Graham Arnold. Photo by Luke Hemer/Perform
The season has only just kicked off and Graham Arnold is already going in studs up against cross-town rivals Western Sydney Wanderers.
While making it clear he had great respect and admiration for good friend Tony Popovic and his club, the Sydney FC boss already has the red and blacks in his sights.
"It's great for the A League they've made the (ACL) final but as long as it's the Champions League and not the A-League then that's fine," Arnold declared.
"Our job is to take that A League title back off them. We'll be doing our best to win the three derbies and bring the trophy here.
"We want to bring it to the Opera House. What have they got out there at Parramatta to take it to? Parramatta Town Hall?"
Saturday week's derby can't come quick enough.
The life of Brian
He's not the FFA CEO, he's a very naughty boy...
David Gallop is now referred to as 'Brian' in some quarters following Les Murray's gaffe at a recent press conference.
Mr Football addressed Gallop as 'Brian' before launching into a question, much to the embarrassment of the assembled press pack.
Gallop was none too impressed but politely answered the question.
But it may be a while before he can shake off his unwanted new nickname.
It's just not cricket
Many things have changed in cricket over recent times, with switch hitting, ramp shots and ambidextrous fielders all taking hold.
You can now add Steve Smith's 'now you see me, now you don't' routine to the list.
Is it in the spirit of the game? You be the judge http://bit.ly/ZmHuW2