Halloween horror shows

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We reckon our teams of NRL monsters would leave Frankenstein feeling pretty good about himself.  



Brisbane - Tonie Carroll: Head like a hatful of arseholes...and anger management issues to boot.



Canberra - Sam Backo: Rumour is Slammin' Sam bought a grog shop back in the day so he could anaesthetise himself from having to return home to himself each night.

Canterbury – Paul Doolan: Who? We asked the same question but the Bulldogs nutter at Sportal HQ insisted there's never been an uglier man to don the blue and white. Having now Google imaged Doolan, we have to agree the nut is right.

Cronulla - Gavin Miller: Has a face only a mother could love, although there are unsubstantiated reports even Mrs Miller asked Gav to wear a bag over his head at the dinner table.



Gold Coast - Nate Myles: They tell us the hotel cleaning staff kicked up a mighty stink the morning after Nate defecated in their stairwell. All were happy to clean up Nate's deposit but they drew the line at having to bring him room service.    

Manly – Marty Bella: We'd love to say Marty 'Munster' Bella made up for his ordinary looks with a great personality. Love to...except for the fact he's a dickhead.



Melbourne – George Rose: Sweet name but Georgie ain't going to win any beauty contests unless he moves to Kazakhstan.

Newcastle – Marc Glanville: Former Knights workhorse Glanville now works for a Newcastle radio station. We could say he has a good head for radio but we'd be lying.  



North Queensland – James Tamou: Take a look at the Easter Island statues and tell us they weren't modelled on Tamou. Told you.



Parramatta – Ray Price: They say the 1980s were the decade fashion forgot and that was certainly the case for those style-masters at the Eels. Big Bear Bob O'Reilly, Brett Kenny, Sterlo, Steve Edge, Steve Sharp...the list of good sorts goes on and on. But for us, there is no going past Ray Price. Mr Perpetual Motion not only possesses a rough melon, but he could bore for Australia.  



Penrith – Phil Gould: The story goes that when Gus Gould was born, his mum turned to the gynaecologist and screamed: "No, no, no, no, no."

St George Illawarra Dragons – Craig Young: Craig 'Brickhead' Young was a terrific front-rower for the Dragons but had nothing else going for him. A rough head and a copper to boot, Young is in the Marty Bella category as far as personalities go.

South Sydney – Peter Tunks: They say ex-South Sydney half Craig Coleman grew up playing footy with a brick in the streets of Redfern. Looks like Tunsky might have worn one of Tugger's face balls.



Sydney Roosters – Anthony Watts: The NRL pretty boys usually go for the model types but the modelling agency obviously got their delivery orders wrong the day they sent Anthony Watts to the Roosters. Please don't tell him we said that. 



Warriors - Mark Tookey: As the old saying goes, 'Tooks' could haunt houses for a living. And probably does.



Wests Tigers – Beau Ryan: Yes, that Beau Ryan. One man's meat is another man's poison. At least that's what Bryce Gibbs told us when he dared us to put pretty boy Beau in here.

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