Here is five things that are (slightly) more reliable things than Clarke's dodgy hammy:
1. The East German Trabant
Widely known as a lunchbox containing a lawn mower starter motor, the Trabant took five minutes to accelerate from 0-100km/h and was the only vehicle ever to kill insects with its rear window, instead of the windscreen.
Each Trabant survived on average for 28 years while Clarke's hamstring carks it every six months.
2. Sporting mediocrity
While we can't always count on the availability of our cricket captain, we can rely on several sporting teams being utter garbage.
The Cronulla Sharks have never won an NRL premiership and in keeping with that theme, won the wooden spoon last season.
Three AFL teams haven't won a premiership since the middle of last century. The Western Bulldogs last tasted glory in 1954 while Melbourne (1964) and St.Kilda (1966) have also been pretty crap.
All are currently going through rebuilding processes - something they might as well do with Clarke's body.
3. Kim Kardashian boosting her career by exposing skin
Just when you think you have seen the last of KK, a publicity stunt such as baring her ass or a sex tape will be released to put the socialite back in the headlines.
Unfortunately we are likely to hear the sound of Clarke's hamstring go twang than Kardashian disappearing from our lives.
4. Kyle Sandilands ability to make a tool of himself
While we haven't heard much from the radio shock jock since the inappropriate and sexist comments made toward NRL identity Erin Molan, we always know that an act of ridiculous buffoonery is only just around the corner.
5. James Brayshaw's dribble
The constant mouth sewage emitting out of James Brayshaw's mouth provides more value to our lives than Pup's dodgy leg.
Take yesterday for example, the riveting commentary conversation about kebabs driven by Brayshaw caused me to purchase the delicious Middle Eastern treat later that night.
Clarke's hamstring has just got us all worried about how stuffed the Aussies are.