Captain Clarke's stand-up comedy routine

Author Photo
Michael Clarke comedy

Speaking at an event hosted by Australian High Commissioner Alexander Downer, Clarke made several hilarious references to his players and joked that he would decline a knighthood offer from prime minister Tony Abbott.

“It (knighthood) doesn’t suit me, I am just a boy from Liverpool, a Liverpool boy through and through,” Clarke said.

“I can’t imagine my mates calling me sir anything.”

It was Clarke's references to his teammates stole the show however, with a selection of the best below:

Fawad Ahmed: With the Victorian bowler currently fasting for Ramadan, the Muslim holy period, Clarke asked those consuming food and beverage to "please face the other direction".

David Warner:  “His old nickname was the bull, it is now the butterfly. Don’t take offence if he doesn’t answer your questions tonight, as he is conserving energy.”

Peter Siddle: According to Clarke, Siddle paints the nails of his pet chickens.

Chris Rogers: “The captain of Dad’s Army.”

Josh Hazelwood: Clarke said that Hazlewood loves a beer so he asked everyone with a spare glass to "please give it to Josh".

Mitchell Johnson: “Another of Dad’s Army who loves his karate.”

Stephen Smith: Clarke made a truth but blunt statement about Smith - "How could I forget, the greatest batsman in the world, Stephen Smith.”

Author(s)
Kieran Francis Photo

Kieran Francis is a senior editor at Sporting News Australia.