James, believe it or not, the footy world did not come to a standstill while you were gone.
So before you swap the reef oil for the clipboard, we thought we'd help you catch up on some news.
Meet your new full forward - Jake Carlisle
Your gun full back switching ends is a funny story really.
Your mate Bomber was copping it from every direction earlier in the year when Carlisle was struggling up forward. You should have seen Thompson's press conferences – the media thought he was mad when he refused to switch him back to defence.
Anyway, the story has a happy ending, you should check out the Bulldogs game from last week. 
A prior opportunity to change the rules
Remember how fashionable players such as Chris Judd, Gary Ablett, Cyril Rioli and Joel Selwood could hang onto the ball for an eternity and not be pinged for holding the ball?
Well, now everybody can do it.
Lately we've seen blokes doing 360 degree spins or running 30 metres before they've gotten rid of the ball, you don't even need to be an elite midfielder.
Allowing players to hold the ball in tackles leads to bigger packs and more of those mauls, that's got to be good for the game, right?
Feeling confused?
You're not the only one.
The more things change the more they stay the same, the play on to advantage rule is still a cruel joke and the score review system is just as embarrassing as it was when you left.
The return of James Hird has really put the rest if the world's problems in perspective.
— Titus O'Reily (@TitusOReily) July 23, 2014Richmond is a basket case again
When you left the Tiger had just awakened and everybody was bracing for Richmond to dominate the AFL again, just like the 1980s.
But surprise, surprise, it's another false dawn at Tigerland.
Your old teammate Damien Hardwick is feeling the heat, but reckons they're improving and can make a late charge at finishing ninth.
Essendon now has a solid defence
When you were appointed before the 2011 season, you promised to make Essendon one of the hardest teams to score against.
Under your watch, Jim, the Bombers' average score against 95 points per match.
In 2014, Thompson has taken Essendon's average points against down to 76.
Tarps covering seats at AAMI Stadium
I'm only warning you because the Bombers might have to play an elimination final at Adelaide Oval.
That's right, you don't have to go to West Lakes to play the Crows and Power any more.
And there will actually be a crowd there too. In fact, the average crowd at Adelaide Oval this year is 45,237. Compare that to Etihad Stadium, which averages 28,554.
Melbourne no longer easy beats
I don't need to tell you not to underestimate the Demons after they actually rolled your mob in 2011 and 2012.
But now Paul Roos has them winning heaps more games, and they rarely cop a thrashing nowadays.
If you want a new club to beat up on, try West Coast, the arse has swiftly fallen out of them since everybody had them as flag contenders during the NAB Challenge.
Anyway Jim, holidays don't last forever, welcome back to Australia!